P/s: If you are looking for skinny ties, please do drop by at the link given.

For now, i want to bercerita with you all..i feel like bercerita saja today. I think i need it…

For the past few weeks , my emotion have been going up and down like a roller coaster ride.. sometimes i fall so deep that i feel like giving up on everything and when that comes.. i hate everything around me, Im upset, angry and agitated… i just feel like crying and just be angry..i rather be alone and just sit quietly one corner and just cry..Sigh..This is not minta kesian punya post cos i know someone will say that to me one day… this is not minta kesian post..but a post where i need to be heard,release and maybe understood.

Small issue seems big for me now, i cry easily too.. i feel like im losing myself to this virus in me… i don’t know what i can do to help myself out… i know im very much effected already cos even in my sleep i get that same dream, nightmare some calls it… whenever i get this nightmare, i will definitely end up screaming and crying in my sleep… waking up feeling even more angrier and frustrated..more questions flood my head..doubt and insecure… urh.. i so hate it! Yes…i don’t get that much peaceful sleep now… this nightmare visits me at least twice a week … and it never fails to make me cry,feel broken and angry.

Sometimes i think i need a shrink… i need someone to fix my head,my emotion..my whole being… give me a new me again.. so i forget everything and feel brand new..i just wanna be cured…i want to feel good again..i really do…..

But do you believe me if i say im sick? Or will you just say this is a post yang minta kesian or minta puji?

I may look strong..act strong..happy, smiley and all that….but trust me…i feel rotten deep inside me… and i wanna get out of that feeling…

I don’t need and want to be judge but i just need you to hear me, understand me and maybe some word of encouragement…advice..

I am trying to build my courage to call a counselor for advice but the thought of people judging and how it may effect the people around me…terrify me… and i know i need support and not someone to judge me…. crucify me and blame me…..

Sigh…

Anyway, i love this song so much..i feel the lyrics…and yes…  i wanna fight and win this  ”virus” battle and be healthy again..i have a future waiting for me out there… my marriage, my husband, my mom, my family, my friend, my future children and most of all..me, myself.

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Have a great day peeps…. enjoy life and never take anyone for granted in your life..trust me….

Mind state: Bitter..feeling deep regret..angry and frustrated.. also fed up. Thinking to go to church and spend some time with HIM alone.. but…..

I feel like im stuck at the moment..stuck in a place and situation where i don’t wanna be..im worried that i can’t find a way out and be stuck here forever and suffer..

I don’t know where to go and what to do .. what is the best way to handle this situation..this very frustrating situation. Definitely im not happy..and i know..i have gotten a big big scars in me…cos im feeling it bad and i am turning into a bitter person. i don’t want to fall deeper into this, im worried i’ll get into depression. i dont even know if i already have one or not..but i know..i’m angry about everything… i think about it every morning..i dream about it… and i cry alone whenever i can… am i depress already? Im worried…i don’t wanna be a depress person..but i don’t know how and where and what to do to..all i can think of is to get away and run from the problem…

I feel like im all alone ..no one to help, to hear, to talk  and who can understand me… and i will be lying if i said..that i never thought of a dark dark thought whenever i fall so deep into it…but i know that is not the way to deal with situation…there is a better way to deal with it..but how? who will listen? where can i go?? I’m tired.. frustrated…fed up..alone… hurting..and i feel like i am at a dead end. SIGHHHHHH…..

Anyway,  check out this auto insurance quotes..might help you in some ways too…

Thanks for listening and reading peeps…

SO TRUE!! HE IS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS!!! INFACT I THINK THAT NITE.. SOMEONE STUFFED CACTUS INTO HIS ANUS!  I thought he was my friend but i guess i was wrong on this one, he should have this sticker, sticking on him 24 hours! But then again, i should have known better.. waktu kerja dulu sama dia, ramai juga my colleagues yang lain tell me..he is really cunning and kuat tembirang..i guess now it’s true! Oh well..

Tembirang la kau sebanyak mana..akhirnya..tembirang kaling kau tu akan terpecah keluar juga seperti mana kau tipu sia yang kau akan simpan my secret dulu kan?? TSK TSK TSK.. kau sudah tipu sia sekali.. sia masih terima kau sebagai kawan, now when you said my wedding reception is crappy.. i think that’s a lil too much Mr and i don’t think i can forgive you that fast this time around! As friend i think you should be happy for me and  not coming to my wedding and  bitch about it to another friend of ours and walk away from the dinner reception as soon as we walked in. So insulting i tell you.. no respect langsung! Kalau jeles cakap.. jangan bitch about our wedding to our other friends who was sitting next to you the other day..and if you can’t afford to have garden wedding for your wife.. MAN UP DUDE.. wedding is all about your budget and preference at the end of the day..BUKAN siapa lebih kaya and siapa punya wedding lebih grand! Or telling others that our wedding ceremony should have been this way and that way.. Let me ask you this ,WHO ARE YOU AGAIN???!!  DID YOU CONTRIBUTE ANY THING IN THIS WEDDING? IF NO… shut the fuck up already and MAN UP TO YOUR WIFE and tell her..sorry woman i can’t afford garden wedding like this. We just have to do it in a hotel ballroom!  I mean,you must be hurting and full of envy that nite…. that you turn into such a sour man!

Aiya, ni la ba ni kalau orang yang suka tembirang and menunjuk and inda mau mengaku kalah.. susah!

Hmm…banyak lagi sia mau cakap.. tapi cukup la sampai sini ja ni malam.. sampai sini ja la sia meluahkan geram and sakit hati sia.. marah memanjang pun teda guna juga…

Bagus lagi sia cakap pasal weight loss supplements dari buang karan cakap pasal dia.. bulih lagi sia cari cara macam mana mau lose weight…LOL!

Oh didn’t i tell you?? My mom is here for 3 weeks holiday!!! YEAY!!!” GRIN” So for the past few days.. i have been getting loads of MOMMY TLC heheheheh….i really like but hmm in few more days to go she will be leaving back to kk lagi…BORING!!!

With mom being here, i don’t have to say la,…. my weight have shoot up like crazy too! Im feeling super bloated now. MAKANNNNNNN ja kerja. Mom’s cooking is the best, no matter how simple is the cooking.. tetap sedap juga tu makanan.. mom’s magic i must say and since mommy’s arrival…. sia SAH SUDAH  jadi PEMALASSSSSSSSSSS!! MALAS mau pi kerja, malas mau workout mau duduk rumah ja  and spend time with mom…hahahahahahahahah.. mana la inda bertambah sia punya babat!! ODOI DOGO!!!

Hmmm ni belum lagi sampai Christmas party invitations… imagine kalau sudah sampai Christmas time… sia jadi la vogoks ni..aiseh!!

I need to get back into my gym routine, stopped working out for the past 2 weeks.. the first week sebab Daniel sakit, second week sia pula sakit…tapi takkan sia kasih tinggal my mom kan? Hmmmm… kalau sia kasi tinggal mom satu orang.. inda bagus pula sia rasa.. so selfish.. aiya! Decision decision!! My muffin top is getting thicker and bigger by day! Yesterday sia nampak perut sia bncit macam sia ni 2 bulan preggy!! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..inda ku sanggup! Kalau betul betul preggy inda pa juga… ni preggy pun inda…aisehmen!

Sighhhhhhh.. how la i want to do my interview ni bila i feel bloated like crazy? I don’t feel good about myself now, how to convince tv viewer then? ISK!!!

Like i said in the previous post, because of my shout out i posted in facebook..i received an advice from someone whom i have lost contact with for more than 10 years.

We found one another in facebook recently (i think 1 month after i got married) and have added each other into our friend list. All these while, i have only spoken to her twice in facebook. Once to congratulate her on her upcoming (then) wedding and recently wishing her happy birthday. That was the only contact we’ve made over the past 10 years.

And with that two contact we’ve made, she seems to be thinking she knows me very well already. ( well, that’s how i feel..i mean she must be right?? Because she can write me an email and give me an advice… AMPLE advice some more she said, LOL)

I for once won’t and will never give an advice to someone whom i do not know very well , whats more if i don’t know the whole story. I think it’s plain rude to do so and most probably you will only be looking for trouble by offending your friends apalagi kalau you like to go on an ASSUMING MODE! That’s really no good!

Well this dear friend of mine did exactly just that…she send me an advice, going on ASSUMING MODE on the whole situation… and the way she gave me the advice…OMG!! It came across to me, not as an advice but pretty much like someone who has nothing else better to do but just being plain NOSY!

Dear.. ko gaduh ka ngan hubby..if butul ko gaduh geng..
kita isteri yg baik baik gaduh dlm bilik kn..
ample reminder as a good fren..
no hurt feeling kay muah..

That’s exactly what she wrote to me in my FB email….Now if you were me… wouldn’t you be offended with that? What does she meant by “KITA ISTERI YG BAIK BAIK GADUH DLM BILIK KN”??

Is she trying to tell me im no good as a wife??Is she telling me she is a good wife? What and who gave her that idea? Is it because she recently became someone’s wife so she is a good wife now and have the whole idea on how to become a good wife already??

I mean, even if i wanna fight with my husband in public, is that your problem? Even if i wanna scream and shout .. is that your problem? And kalau pun sia mau bernaked in my fb…will that be your issue as well and will give me an advice?

As human, i believe everything has it’s limit… and giving advice not knowing the head and tails of the whole matter is one of them….secondly, if you do not know that person well… that’s already your BIG BIG BIG Sign telling you…BACK OFF! Geez….

If you are wondering did i reply her email back..HELL YEA i did…LOL! Let’s just say her reply back after that …. TYPICAL THEM…..
I’m close minded person, different religion ( what does this gotta do with the whole thing ar?), She met the wrong person( that’s me she referring too) and i am someone who can’t accept advice apparently….

“thinking to myself, won’t everyone react the same way as me kalau you don’t know the person well apalagi bila teda contact for 10 years plus and then out of the blue.. Your friend mau pandai pandai bagi advice and main assume ja the whole situation without knowing head and tails of it??” Kalau kau inda react like me… i salute you la that you can let people “intrude’ your life.

Hmmm… anyway.. i think i need some serious Branson Missouri vacation already la… too much shit crap, nosy people lately in my facebook and i definitely need to delete those people off from my life…… Husband says it will do me good which i agree with that 100% too!

Ok,so Im married but that doesn’t mean i need to go into bonking frenzy fest and get pregnant in an instance, righttttttttt??

When i say, i eat a lot more lately and always feel hungry  does that mean i am pregnant sudah?  Don’t they ever think it may be because of my monthly cycle is coming to visit me?

Worse orang yang suka buat guessing game ni kan…semua orang yang sia inda rapat with..people yang jarang sia jumpa… or talk with even… aiya..kepoh sungguh!

I dont know about you, but i do feel PREGNANCY TOPIC  is a sensitive issue to be put as a guessing game.. and the fact that some people like to put words into my status that’s really stupid! You know what i mean? Like when someone said… “i think you are pregnant mel” or ” na, pregnant sudah kau tu mel kalau macam tu” I would like to ask you this- How do you know?? You see my body? You checked my body? You are my body? You feel what i feel? and how do you know i can conceive or not in the first place? Sigh, why can’t people have the brain to be bit more sensitive about this topic ar??

Rest assure guys, when im pregnant i will tell the whole world about it… i will..but for now,let Dan and i do what we need to do, ok

Im tired of having to explain myself every month on FB…i know i don’t need to explain but it just irritate the freak out of me all the time.

Now i know how newly wed feels when everyone asked them the same question almost everyday..teda kerja diorang ni tau!

SOT!

FYI,  Pregnancy topic is not like choosing mens ties topic ….whether the couple is  trying to conceive  or just letting the course taking it’s place …mesti ada juga tu rasa disappointment sikit bila the monthly cycle yang datang visit instead of the good news…so please be sensitive towards your friends with this topic, lain la kalau the couple langsung inda mau baby.

Kalau mau menanya tu pun.. biarla bertempat. Jangan pula menanya di shout out box orang and macam buat announcement before the couple sendiri buat announcement pula.. that’s what common sense mean peeps.

Because i still give everyone my best smile, my best tone of voice in this office of mine.. they still know me as the cheerful emelda… the bubbly mel…the crazy one… but seriously now.. deep down in me…it’s totally the opposite way round..

IM SO DISAPPOINTED …HEARTBROKEN…. ANGRY…IRRITATED NOW. WHY DO I GET THE PUNISHMENT FOR THING THAT IS BEYOND MY FUCKING CONTROL!!!!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Although the manager was really nice to by offering me the job.. i turned it down at the end of the day. It is definitely not because i was so malu-fied by my car incident.. but i got a better job offer like i said,  i got 3 job offers in line remember?? . That was when i came back to the fitness industry. The pay was similar to what i was being offered at the first job offer ( where my car was nearly towed away) maybe even more by end of the month actually becuuase it was a sales industry.. but i don’t dare to take the challenge to be sales person again.. after i think i failed miserably on my second job outside of fitness industry…LOL! ( tinting consultant)

So June was the mark of my life changing to a better life.. no it was not rosy straight away, i have so much baggage carried on my shoulder from the pass 1 year half.. all those bad things that happen to me really made me scared of what’s gonna happen next and that was my relationship that i was worried about. You see, like i said..Dan and i went through bad patch, really bad patch that made me think.. is it worth it? Should i really continue with this?

And then something happen.. i was sent to Jakarta for month for work.. all that time when we had our bad patch.. all i ever wanted was to be away from Daniel.. a time for myself to think about what i really want in my life and my relationship and of cos to give Dan some space of his own to think things through.  That was a good 1 month break from each other…

When i was away from him, i tried not to think about him, care about him and worried about him.. but that’s what exactly took place when i was in JKT… i miss him. I miss his jokes, his morning kisses, his morning perfume smell.. just him being him and around me. I miss that.. but of cos, i never really admitted that to him.. i let me ego do the talking. I was hurt and still bitter with whatever happen the past few months before…the argument we go through was too much for me.. i believe it was too much for him too.. for us to be arguing like there is no tmrw. At one point, i even asked him to call our engagement OFF!  Yes, i was that upset.. but i know.. deep down that’s not what i really wanted and i thank God that he did not listen to my crazy self talking .. Dan never gave up on us. Instead he was there for me.

July came.. that was the month that made me nervous like hell!! July was the month we got engaged …

As some of you might already know now, kadazadusun  has so much of adat resam when it comes to engagement or wedding or any big celebration.and that’s one of the main reason why i was nervous. I was so worried that Dan’s parent could not take the ” rules and regulation”  that the night before our engagement day..nerve build up….Dan and i had a small disagreement .. and trust me that did not help me at all.. hahah i was not able to sleep well the night before the engagment day. The morning came..i tell you… it was a nerve wrecking for me… seeing and listening to both parents talking and discussing .. ohhhhh… did not do me any good. The whole time when they were doing the talk.. the “adult talk” they called it, i was so nervous nasib la sia inda sampai pi ambil Medicare supplement plan, lol! …I believe Dan was nervous too… heheheeh   ” I won’t tell them my love, your secret safe with me ”

I was only able to smile, relax and enjoy my engagement day after the ring exchanging ceremony… hahahhahaha.. yes me being silly and worrying so much for no reason.. i should have listened and trust Daniel that everything will be ok.. i won’t go through the moment of torturing myself and be nervous isn’t it?? I am sure the video that was taken by Dan’s uncle will be a proved of me being nervous…hahaha.. i hope he won’t show that during our wedding day.. malu eh!

Picture on our engagement day

To be continue again…..

I feel like i just ran through a steel buildings after the training today… urg..i hate that feeling, the feeling of being helpless, worried and not to mention emotionally hurt.

I was disappointed with the whole training session today, specially the morning session.   The more i get to know the team here.. the more worried i am. sigh.. i really feel like im in the Grid iron movie. The team lack of team spirit, respect and demotivated. Not to mention attitude issue.. sigh.  Everyone came to training with their own issue…

Although deep down in me, i am telling myself to hang on, be patience but other part of me.. irritated, getting emo and at the same time..feel sad to these trainers.

I wish i was given more time to get to know them better, at least training wont be so tough ( that’s how i think la) Breaking the ice with these trainer is so hard..specially when EGO is involved. They think that they are superb and don’t need anymore follow up training..sigh.

Oh well, i pray that i will be strong and lots of patience.

I wonder what else can i do to motivate these people, change their attitude and start respecting themselves? I see they have sooo much potential in them but the attitude covers all their good qualities. I wish they can see that in themselves.

I can’t afford to gain anymore weight.. kalau inda susah la sia mau kasih percaya orang yg sia ni rapid result training development coach for celebrity fitness and im gonna face the whole team tomorrow..adeh segan pula sia.. all my team semua fit fit ni..sia saja yg hmm lembik pressure betul..

Anyhow.. this is my second week working with celebrity fitness Malaysia.. so far so good.. i hope everything will go well.. i hope training will go smoothly and all trainers ok..i have not seen them in person yet  but i will tmrw. First step, is to get to know them, get some fedback before i proceed with the training… im still kinda lost with my new work, but im sure i will be ok once i get used to the system and all.

The only thing that im still trying to get used to even after 8 years in this industry is ..WAKING UP early in the morning!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGG!!! Im sooooooooo not a morning person… sigh. Every morning i could hear Dan’s cheerful voice greeting me.. and here i am greeting him back with my grumpy voice..i would lay in bed as long as i can before i drag my butt out to the shower room..kalau sia masih budak kecil lagi now..im sure i would have cried and throw pillows on the floor showing my tantrum in the morning…LOL! Yea, yea..i’m a spoil brat…. but hey.. i never actually had the luxury to sleep in till late in the morning ok since i was 7 years old… day in day out..5:30am sharp, i have to wake up and go for my swimming training sudah..only now after leaving Sabah and stay on my own..sia dapat that luxury..tapi tu pun bukan all the time. sob sob.. i cant lay in bed the whole day cos i have 1 big baby to jaga..and another one fury lil cute thing waiting for me t greet her in the morning. Hey..jadi perempuan ni susah juga kan?? Kenapa la lelaki inda bulih jadi pregnant ar?? kan baik kalau diorang boleh..mungkin they will be bit more sensitive kan?? wahahah ..totally out of topic ni ni hari..

Hmm..ba ok la.. cukup la sia merepek inda tentu pasal today.. im too tired ba ni.but i have tonnes of assignment menunggu untuk di clear kan dalam inbox sia..so baik sia merepek daripada duit sia terbang!!!

Ba ok la..nite nite everyone!

1 weeks gone, 2 and half more to go before i can go home and hug Gummi. I miss her so much, that i don’t even wanna go and see pet section in the mall..takut sia nangis. sigh..i wish i have a 3G phone so i can call back home and get to see gummi from it…sighhhhhhh.

My training was not as intense as i thought it would be maybe just  mentally challenging as i need to remember every single workout name in full! I’ve also learned few bahasa indonesia like Macet, Cepet, Jorok,kasus..LOL!!  But i still do not understand their food here..banyak bahasa yang sia inda faham and its kinda hard to order food because of that… as they do not know who to translate it to Bahasa Melayu. Tau la sia ni cerewet when it comes to food.

The traffic here is horrendous tahap gila..i do not know how Jakartan’s can take it everyday driving in that condition. Motorcycle, bas, car everything is in same lane and worse..they love to honk at each other..whether they are asking you to make way for them, angry honk, impatience honk, whatever la….. diorang mesti honk! Kalau honk sekali inda pa..ni balik balik…bikin panas!

But its totally different when it comes to the people here…they are so warm, welcoming, friendly and nice. They are so curious about me..always asking questions, where im from, what am i doing here, what race am i…banyakla..and now i have added few more people in my facebook friend list..and all of them are the trainers here.

When it comes to food, there is only 2 choices for you here. Either you spent your money on super expensive food (standardnya sama macam di ss2 wai sek kai..cuma kau dalam aircon area and mall) or you go to the most affordable food but its kinda hmmm..inda sedap. Ispent most of my money here buying food..i can’t get used to makanan diorang di sini specially in the kantin. Don’t ask me why they call it Canteen. Although some of it looks yummy tapi sia inda berani makan. In the food court,satu Char kuey tiaw equal to Rm8-9 per plate!  And kalau kau mau beli minuman kotak yang kecil where we normally get it in KL for Rm1..sini bulih sampai Rm3.50! That’s how mahal it is here bila you choose to makan in a good place. Sigh!! Gila i tell you..im sure i won’t need any diet pills that work if i hari hari macam ni..sure kurus dengan semula jadinya…LOL!

Here’s some of the pic..

The most expensive Char kuey tiaw i ever makan!

This is another club that i visited recently but the atmosphere doesn’t feel like you are in the gym but more like in a spa.

They even have their own saloon in the gym! Yes, i did my new hair color here..not too bad juga la the result! Murah highlight and coloring only around Rm164.

The Lounge area in the vip club..

]]> http://kadazanbonita.com/jakarta-oh-jakarta/feed/ 7 http://kadazanbonita.com/pearl-of-the-orient-penang-visit/ http://kadazanbonita.com/pearl-of-the-orient-penang-visit/#comments Fri, 12 Jun 2009 14:49:33 +0000 Mel http://kadazanbonita.com/?p=1916 [ad]

Pearl of the Orient@ Pulau Pinang

Yes, i just got back from the island today, loads of things has changed there since my last visit back in year 2003…i can’t remember most of the place now but i enjoyed the short trip. It was only a day trip this time around but im sure the next one will definitely be a longer trip.

We arrived at the airport around 9am and my new colleague was kind enough to bring Jeff and me to makan place in the morning before heading to the gym.

A nice view from the Gym...yup while running onthe treadmill..this is the view you'll see

Gurney area didn’t change much..the stall that we used to go and makan was still there..the beach area was still the same except the mall apparently got a new extension to it. Back in FF years, whenever we go to Penang it only meant one thing…PIGGING OUT TIME! Yea, we were so crazy that we wallop anything and everything..that time i could afford to makan like that la..but now, heh..i have to control my food intake..yea la, i don’ t workout as much as before anymore..metabolism pun kurang dy..susah juga kan kalau tiba tiba ada orang yg mau kena pakai AED to revive ourself back kan??LOL!! Palis-palis!

Jeff S.

Today also marked the last day im gonna be seeing this dude(Jeff)… and that’s mean when i’m back from Jakarta and my holiday…i will be on my own already, i am definitely nervous because one week of learning and trying to understand the culture of the clubs is not enough..but i hope with the training provided in Jakarta…im good to go.

Hmm… nervous, nervous! But, whatever it is…life have to go on kan? And with that said, i thanked Jeff for everything..for teaching me and showing me around the club for the past one week. Hope to see you again! Im sure i will call you bila me balik from Jakarta..im sure i have forgetten where and what i need to do first thing in the morning when i arrive the club again in August! LOL!

Other note… i’m leaving soon..sob sob..im worried definitely, i have never been outside of Malaysia for so long all by myself although im sure my colleagues in Jakarta a nice people  but i am worried about sleeping at new place all alone on the first day..tau la kan…strange place and all..i hope i can sleep..aiya. I hope teda la bunyi yang bukan bukan di tengah malam..kalau inda, siapa la sia akan call?? Aaaaarg! “Guntalou juga sia ni, jangan kama”

I must remind myself to bring one of Dan’s baju….just to “tipu” my otak at least for the first few days, LOL!

Thinking about leaving them behind make me miss them so much already…aiseh! Sob Sob!

Day 1 at work today, what did i gained or learned today?? Let’s see..

1- My team mates mainly Men..only 20% women instructors

2- I am so petite standing next to them..so petite that i can’t help but felt intimidated by them..lol! ( for first time i felt like that in gym..LOL) To me …they are like HULK and im like a small lil girl…

3- I have so many things to learn, specially with muscles name and exercises name ( ok, i know the basic name of the  exercise but the specific saintific name…white flags for me)

4- My biggest upcoming challenge will be..to get bunch of people be interested in learning and passing their exams with flying colors! Kalau inda, year end..no bonus for me..sob sob sob!

5- I will be away starting this friday till mid next month and will be back to kl for one day just in time to change my baju’s and repack all my holiday baju’s back to KK for 2 weeks! This will be the longest time that i ever been far away (alone) from home, Gummi and Dan…sedih pula sia ni…astaga. Im sure i’m gonna miss all of them dearly! I hope i can do it…sob sob.

” i can hear Daniel giggling at the back quietly for his 1 month freedom”

6-And tomorrow will be a gruelling day for me..visiting 2 clubs,learn more about muscles,exercises, more info about teh trainers needs and then gonna have to work my ass out with the current development coach. I hope i can walk after the workout session without the need of holding any of the plasma stand in the gym! Memalukan saja kalau sia start crawling ni…ROFL!!

Countdown begins today…3 more days to Penang ,6 more days to Jakarta and a month and four days left to Sabah getaway! Wohoooo!

I hope i get to go sight seeing in Jakarta over the weekend…i hope someone there will be nice enough to show me around and i hope Dan will make a trip down to JKT  :P malangnya ..Gummi can’t come along..uwaaaaaaaaa!!

Do you know that apedixin, fenphedra among others is a natural appetite suppressants? Apparently they are the best in diet pills in the market now… hmmm…..there’s even a pill that can make you loose weight and at the same time increase the size of a women’s breast! How crazy is that?? LOL! i don’t mind trying that one …hahahaha…as long as the size doesnt go to Pamela Anderson size la…i think i can handle it…wahahahhaha.

Anyway, back to the real post..enough crazy stuff..i dont need diet pills anyway..i just need to workout. LOL!

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Have you ever wonder where have all your friends gone too? What happen to them, where they are now, how are they doing and all?

I Do…i wonder where have all my “friends” gone too… it’s like they have vanished into thin air..although, occasionally i do bumped onto them in the mall…but thats about it…they dont make an effort to call, dont make and effort to turn up to any of the function that i invited them to go…nothing! I wonder should i call them to my wedding when i get married? Are they worth the pain and money??

“Pain= to remember their names, Money= sending the invitation card and not to mention the dinner course on the wedding day”

It’s very disappointing and not to mention PAINFUL to know that we were once very close but now its more like out of sight, out of mind friendship.  I’ve made an effort to call them…to catch up with them..but it seems like..im the only one who is keeping up with the effort,..i am the only one who gets excited whenever i bumped onto them in the mall.Sigh.

I really wonder what made them change, is it because im not married yet?  Is it because i do not have kids yet? Is it because im no longer needed or is it because i am not marrying someone rich and famous and my circle of friends  is not from the famous people group? WHAT IS IT??

Geez…sometimes i can’t help but wonder…what was the friendship based on in the first place….SICK i tell you.

P/s:  Daniel Merriweather song can be downloaded at www.gallivantism.com